My apologies for lack of posting lately. I've just been a bit busy with a few things here and there. (OK I'm actually just masturbating...) It was my birthday a few days ago. I turned the ripe old age of 27. Awesome...eh at least I'm pretty still.
I also have a girlfriend. She wants to spend time with me and such. God knows why though...
More frequent posting to come. That's what she said.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Match #1 -- Chris Benoit vs Chris Jericho -- Ladder Match -- Intercontinental Championship -- January 21st 2001
So I'm just going to put it out there...I don't care what Chris Benoit did to his family.
Alright to a degree I do care. Personally it was atrocious what he did. For those of you who forgot, during a scheduled Pay Per View that the WWF held back in 2006, Benoit at his home in Atlanta, seemingly went off the deep end, and murdered his wife Nancy (a former valet name of Woman and Kevin Sullivan's ex-wife) and his young son who suffered from Autism. Daniel had bruises and marks on his neck indicating that Chris choked him to death, not that unsimilar to his finishing maneuver that he used called the Crippler Crossface. It's a disgusting act and a tragedy. I would never wish that upon any family. However, I don't blame Benoit wholly for what happened. I feel he was so far gone mentally that he didn't know what he doing despite reports from the mass media saying that he was roid raging. (This will someday be a separate column)
Film director Roman Polanski date raped a young girl back in the 70's and fled from persecution. I still love the Pianist and Rosemary's Baby.
Michael Jackson...I'm not even going there...I don't feel like having this conversation anymore...
Despite what he did, professionally, proud Canuck (Canadian) Chris Benoit is one the top three in ring wrestlers in the history of the business. Period. He trained in the Hart Dungeon under Stu Hart in Calgary Alberta and wrestled in Japan, Mexico and the United States and almost every major promotion you can think of. Along with Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero, he helped put the wrestling moniker back in ECW where at the time they mostly concentrated on hardcore violence.
I've never seen a bad Chris Benoit match. Ever. In the twenty plus years I've been watching wrestling, I've never seen anyone elevate more superstars and mid carders to higher statuses than Benoit. That includes Ric Flair, Shawn Micheals, Bret Hart, and Kurt Angle who I consider in the top five in terms of in-ring work along with Benoit. Verne Gagne always said of these guys that they could have a match with a broomstick and make it look great. I think the same of Benoit professionally.
Chris Jericho, another fellow Canadian also was trained at the same time as Benoit in the Hart Dungeon along with Lance Storm. He and Benoit wrestled in the same promotions at a lot of the same times, and have had various matches all around the globe for almost ten years. A lot of Canadian wrestlers have the stigma that they lack the charisma that American wrestlers have. Benoit was no exception. He was never great on promos. He never had to be. He let his wrestling do the talking. He was old school. Jericho is the exception to the rule however. Starting in WCW with his "Man of 1004 Holds" gimmick he became an exceptional heel (bad guy) and quickly rose amongst the cult favorites of the WCW era. He was fantastic on the mic, and even better in the ring. You'll see now that one of the reasons to watch the WWF nowadays is because of Jericho and how fantastic he still is.
By the time these wrestlers met each other in early 2001, they had wrestled each other countless times, and knew each others movesets like the back of their hand. (Come to think of it, I don't know the back of my hand very well. Am I screwed?) Some wrestlers just have chemistry together. They click. Most of the time, you have to work at knowing how matches will go. With Benoit and Jericho, you could tell immediately that these guys knew what each other would do, and weren't surprised at anything that came their way.
The stakes were high. Back in the day, the Intercontinental Title actually meant something. (The title is supposed to be the next step on the promotion rung to the World Title. When guys like Benoit and Jericho held the title, it actually meant something. They were always the best match on the card whenever and wherever they wrestled) Benoit and Jericho both had a very long feud for the title dating as far back as March of 2000. They traded the title back and forth over that time span, and now they needed to settle the feud in a ladder match at the Royal Rumble Pay Per View.
The match itself was absolutely brilliant. Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon started the Ladder Match era back in the mid 90's, but these guys perfected the match in 2001. Their were high spots galore, (the chair shot Tope, the diving headbutt from the top of the ladder) fantastic wrestling, and brutal hits on each other. Jericho also perfectly sold an injury that Benoit caused a week before the match also raising the stakes and making the payoff much more satisfying.
They just don't have matches like these anymore.
Here's a link to part of the match: http://www.dailymotion.com/user/LA_Park/video/x2xobn_wwf-royal-rumble-2001-chris-benoit_sport
Enjoy.
Alright to a degree I do care. Personally it was atrocious what he did. For those of you who forgot, during a scheduled Pay Per View that the WWF held back in 2006, Benoit at his home in Atlanta, seemingly went off the deep end, and murdered his wife Nancy (a former valet name of Woman and Kevin Sullivan's ex-wife) and his young son who suffered from Autism. Daniel had bruises and marks on his neck indicating that Chris choked him to death, not that unsimilar to his finishing maneuver that he used called the Crippler Crossface. It's a disgusting act and a tragedy. I would never wish that upon any family. However, I don't blame Benoit wholly for what happened. I feel he was so far gone mentally that he didn't know what he doing despite reports from the mass media saying that he was roid raging. (This will someday be a separate column)
Film director Roman Polanski date raped a young girl back in the 70's and fled from persecution. I still love the Pianist and Rosemary's Baby.
Michael Jackson...I'm not even going there...I don't feel like having this conversation anymore...
Despite what he did, professionally, proud Canuck (Canadian) Chris Benoit is one the top three in ring wrestlers in the history of the business. Period. He trained in the Hart Dungeon under Stu Hart in Calgary Alberta and wrestled in Japan, Mexico and the United States and almost every major promotion you can think of. Along with Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero, he helped put the wrestling moniker back in ECW where at the time they mostly concentrated on hardcore violence.
I've never seen a bad Chris Benoit match. Ever. In the twenty plus years I've been watching wrestling, I've never seen anyone elevate more superstars and mid carders to higher statuses than Benoit. That includes Ric Flair, Shawn Micheals, Bret Hart, and Kurt Angle who I consider in the top five in terms of in-ring work along with Benoit. Verne Gagne always said of these guys that they could have a match with a broomstick and make it look great. I think the same of Benoit professionally.
Chris Jericho, another fellow Canadian also was trained at the same time as Benoit in the Hart Dungeon along with Lance Storm. He and Benoit wrestled in the same promotions at a lot of the same times, and have had various matches all around the globe for almost ten years. A lot of Canadian wrestlers have the stigma that they lack the charisma that American wrestlers have. Benoit was no exception. He was never great on promos. He never had to be. He let his wrestling do the talking. He was old school. Jericho is the exception to the rule however. Starting in WCW with his "Man of 1004 Holds" gimmick he became an exceptional heel (bad guy) and quickly rose amongst the cult favorites of the WCW era. He was fantastic on the mic, and even better in the ring. You'll see now that one of the reasons to watch the WWF nowadays is because of Jericho and how fantastic he still is.
By the time these wrestlers met each other in early 2001, they had wrestled each other countless times, and knew each others movesets like the back of their hand. (Come to think of it, I don't know the back of my hand very well. Am I screwed?) Some wrestlers just have chemistry together. They click. Most of the time, you have to work at knowing how matches will go. With Benoit and Jericho, you could tell immediately that these guys knew what each other would do, and weren't surprised at anything that came their way.
The stakes were high. Back in the day, the Intercontinental Title actually meant something. (The title is supposed to be the next step on the promotion rung to the World Title. When guys like Benoit and Jericho held the title, it actually meant something. They were always the best match on the card whenever and wherever they wrestled) Benoit and Jericho both had a very long feud for the title dating as far back as March of 2000. They traded the title back and forth over that time span, and now they needed to settle the feud in a ladder match at the Royal Rumble Pay Per View.
The match itself was absolutely brilliant. Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon started the Ladder Match era back in the mid 90's, but these guys perfected the match in 2001. Their were high spots galore, (the chair shot Tope, the diving headbutt from the top of the ladder) fantastic wrestling, and brutal hits on each other. Jericho also perfectly sold an injury that Benoit caused a week before the match also raising the stakes and making the payoff much more satisfying.
They just don't have matches like these anymore.
Here's a link to part of the match: http://www.dailymotion.com/user/LA_Park/video/x2xobn_wwf-royal-rumble-2001-chris-benoit_sport
Enjoy.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Matches of the decade and what makes them so
Having an amazing in ring match is comparable to a guy getting a woman who's a 10, when at best he's a 7.
Basically the guy showered, took off his Starbuck Sucks...in bed t-shirt, (A Battlestar Galactica reference Matt!) and managed shave off his creepy teenage mustache just enough to make him presentable to the opposite sex. He worked what little charm he had, managed to woo her, and now he's banging at a semi regular rate. When he's not playing WOW. (that's World of Warcraft to you noobs. And to my girlfriend who has undoubtedly read this by now...yes i threw away the Starbuck t-shirt...)
It's a rare feat when that happens, and it's a rare feat when a phenomenal in ring match occurs as well.
There are many factors which determine if a match is worthy of praise. I'll describe as best I can.
1. In ring chemistry -- The most basic factor is that the two or more wrestlers in the ring, are actually good wrestlers. Not if they can make the crowd cheer or boo, or posing in the ring. It's whether these guys can hit each other, put each other in holds, and make it look real. It sounds easier than it actually is however. The other wrestler getting hit or put in the maneuver must "sell" the move, or make it look like it's hurting them in a semi-realistic manner. I can't tell you how many blown spots and bumps that just take me and the crowd completely out of the match, then afterwards want to make me go take a piss or get food. It's very bad for business.
2. The feud -- Back in the territory days, (before the WWF became popular, regions of the United States had their own territories or promotions that would be exclusive in that particular part of the country) the promoters would take their champions and develop feuds with other wrestlers to cross promote and garner more revenue with their company. Feuds would extend by having tease matches (non-title matches) that would have their champion lose but not lose their title. These would last over months, and months until finally there would be the climactic match to end the feud and draw a ton of money. Within a company, most wrestlers have matches because of feuds. Why else would these guys go in a ring and grapple with each other? A Popeyes Chicken dinner? Most feuds these days occur within company. Some for titles, some for personal gain, and some that make no sense at all but their fun regardless. In order for a match to be successful, the feud, however large or trite it may be, must work in the eyes of the fans. Without a good feud, there cannot be a good match.
3. Stakes -- This can be something as little as a war of words, or a championship. (I'll say title or championship a lot. Obviously since matches are predetermined, it sounds a little silly when I say "This match was for such and such title" or whatever, but the champion of a promotion is actually essential for the wrestling business. It's a sign that says that a particular wrestler is the best guy we have, or the guy that can draw the most money and biggest reaction whether it be cheers or boos.) The stakes are huge. Why else would these guys pretend to hurt each other? The one guy stole each other's lunch money? Called their Moms a ho? Stepped on someone's Pumas? A less than stellar matchup stakes, will kill a feud, a match and possibly the wrestler being taken seriously. We as an audience have to care about what these guys are fighting for.
4. High spots -- Do me a favor. Fall on your back on your living room floor. OK you done? Kind of hurt didn't it? That's called a bump in wrestling. These guys take twenty to thirty bumps a match. In fifteen minutes. That's the norm. Needless to say, it hurts these guys aloe. Without going above and beyond the call of duty. (Modern Warfare 2 comes out soon!!! Sorry geekout...) A high spot is when a wrestler goes all out for a bump that potentially hurts him or herself permanently but wows the crowd and makes them gasp. Something that gets the crowd going already more than they already were. I cannot stress this enough; THESE GUYS RISK DEATH FOR THESE SPOTS JUST TO HEAR A CROWD REACTION. One great high spot, can change the complexity of a match, and make it far more interesting than it should have been. (See the Jeff Hardy vs CM Punk Swanton Bomb high spot for a good example)
5. Blood -- I love blood. Not in a True Blood/Twilight goth vampire stupid way. Actual blood. Blood in a match always raises the stakes for me. It makes the match seem more real. You get punched solidly in the face in real life, you're bleeding. In wrestling it can happen for like twenty minutes and nothing. But when blood comes out, it's an understanding that the match has gone to another level. It's a real feud! They're really hurting each other! They hate each other! It raises stakes. You raise stakes, the audience cares more. Simple as that.
6. The crowd -- The crowd at times can make or break a match. If they're amped, it ups the atmosphere, raises the stakes, and makes the match seem more important than it is. (See there's a pattern here) If they're dead, the whole match can seem more flat and uninteresting. Very simple.
These factors combined make or break a match.
So with that being said, I'm slowly going to reveal what I think are the matches of the decade. I'm sticking with American matches primarily. (WWF, TNA, and Ring of Honor) If you have any curiosity to check them out, then great. More than likely no one cares, so whatever. So you're just going to hear me rant regardless out of some masochistic pleasure you derive from it.
Enjoy?
Basically the guy showered, took off his Starbuck Sucks...in bed t-shirt, (A Battlestar Galactica reference Matt!) and managed shave off his creepy teenage mustache just enough to make him presentable to the opposite sex. He worked what little charm he had, managed to woo her, and now he's banging at a semi regular rate. When he's not playing WOW. (that's World of Warcraft to you noobs. And to my girlfriend who has undoubtedly read this by now...yes i threw away the Starbuck t-shirt...)
It's a rare feat when that happens, and it's a rare feat when a phenomenal in ring match occurs as well.
There are many factors which determine if a match is worthy of praise. I'll describe as best I can.
1. In ring chemistry -- The most basic factor is that the two or more wrestlers in the ring, are actually good wrestlers. Not if they can make the crowd cheer or boo, or posing in the ring. It's whether these guys can hit each other, put each other in holds, and make it look real. It sounds easier than it actually is however. The other wrestler getting hit or put in the maneuver must "sell" the move, or make it look like it's hurting them in a semi-realistic manner. I can't tell you how many blown spots and bumps that just take me and the crowd completely out of the match, then afterwards want to make me go take a piss or get food. It's very bad for business.
2. The feud -- Back in the territory days, (before the WWF became popular, regions of the United States had their own territories or promotions that would be exclusive in that particular part of the country) the promoters would take their champions and develop feuds with other wrestlers to cross promote and garner more revenue with their company. Feuds would extend by having tease matches (non-title matches) that would have their champion lose but not lose their title. These would last over months, and months until finally there would be the climactic match to end the feud and draw a ton of money. Within a company, most wrestlers have matches because of feuds. Why else would these guys go in a ring and grapple with each other? A Popeyes Chicken dinner? Most feuds these days occur within company. Some for titles, some for personal gain, and some that make no sense at all but their fun regardless. In order for a match to be successful, the feud, however large or trite it may be, must work in the eyes of the fans. Without a good feud, there cannot be a good match.
3. Stakes -- This can be something as little as a war of words, or a championship. (I'll say title or championship a lot. Obviously since matches are predetermined, it sounds a little silly when I say "This match was for such and such title" or whatever, but the champion of a promotion is actually essential for the wrestling business. It's a sign that says that a particular wrestler is the best guy we have, or the guy that can draw the most money and biggest reaction whether it be cheers or boos.) The stakes are huge. Why else would these guys pretend to hurt each other? The one guy stole each other's lunch money? Called their Moms a ho? Stepped on someone's Pumas? A less than stellar matchup stakes, will kill a feud, a match and possibly the wrestler being taken seriously. We as an audience have to care about what these guys are fighting for.
4. High spots -- Do me a favor. Fall on your back on your living room floor. OK you done? Kind of hurt didn't it? That's called a bump in wrestling. These guys take twenty to thirty bumps a match. In fifteen minutes. That's the norm. Needless to say, it hurts these guys aloe. Without going above and beyond the call of duty. (Modern Warfare 2 comes out soon!!! Sorry geekout...) A high spot is when a wrestler goes all out for a bump that potentially hurts him or herself permanently but wows the crowd and makes them gasp. Something that gets the crowd going already more than they already were. I cannot stress this enough; THESE GUYS RISK DEATH FOR THESE SPOTS JUST TO HEAR A CROWD REACTION. One great high spot, can change the complexity of a match, and make it far more interesting than it should have been. (See the Jeff Hardy vs CM Punk Swanton Bomb high spot for a good example)
5. Blood -- I love blood. Not in a True Blood/Twilight goth vampire stupid way. Actual blood. Blood in a match always raises the stakes for me. It makes the match seem more real. You get punched solidly in the face in real life, you're bleeding. In wrestling it can happen for like twenty minutes and nothing. But when blood comes out, it's an understanding that the match has gone to another level. It's a real feud! They're really hurting each other! They hate each other! It raises stakes. You raise stakes, the audience cares more. Simple as that.
6. The crowd -- The crowd at times can make or break a match. If they're amped, it ups the atmosphere, raises the stakes, and makes the match seem more important than it is. (See there's a pattern here) If they're dead, the whole match can seem more flat and uninteresting. Very simple.
These factors combined make or break a match.
So with that being said, I'm slowly going to reveal what I think are the matches of the decade. I'm sticking with American matches primarily. (WWF, TNA, and Ring of Honor) If you have any curiosity to check them out, then great. More than likely no one cares, so whatever. So you're just going to hear me rant regardless out of some masochistic pleasure you derive from it.
Enjoy?
Friday, August 28, 2009
Shoot from the hip...
Alright let's just get this out of the way: Yes i still watch wrestling.
Professional wrestling to me is no different from watching a crappy movie at the AMC or watching a television show with characters that look like they're straight out of the pages of an Abercrombie ad. (I think I ventured into a gay bar like that once...)
If robots can have balls, I can watch wrestling. I'm looking at you Bay!
It's simple entertainment. Plain and...simple...i like words...
When I was two, my uncle Larry introduced me to colorful and exuberant characters such as the Road Warriors, Ric Flair, Ricky Steamboat and other oily men in tights of Jimmy Crockett Promotions, or as it's better known, the NWA or World Championship Wrestling. I'm not sure why I gravitated towards it, and in retrospect I still don't know why to this day. It was the first athletic contest, ( No I don't call it a sport, nor do I call it fake. Until you take five body slams in a cold, hard as concrete ring, never call it fake) that I was exposed to growing up. After that, my father introduced me to football and basketball, but wrestling was my first true love...of...athletic contests...of sorts...
Being the fortunate individual that I am, I believe I grew up in the pinnacle of the wrestling era. Besides Jimmy Crockett Promotions/NWA/WCW/Mid Atlantic Championship, the Hulk Hogan/Vince McMahon World Wrestling Federation era (I refuse to call it the WWE) was the first major promotion I was drawn to. The characters were fun, clean and non threatening with easy to remember stories of good guy vs bad guy. No shades of grey. Lots of merchandise, and of course Hulk Hogan. Then when I was a teenager, I gravitated towards ECW, or Extreme Championship Wrestling a local niche promotion in Philadelphia that gained a cult like status because of their extremely violent matches, adult storylines, and actually treating the audience like they weren't retarded. In the Northeast region of the country ECW spread like a virus. The WWF and WCW would run shows and have people chanting ECW during their most heated matches. Because of this the WWF and WCW had to up their game, by segueing into the Attitude Era and the NWO respectively to the mainstream public. With competition between the three brands, professional wrestling was in my opinion at it's highest peak aesthetically. There were great matches, amazing in-ring performers, and most importantly adult stories that didn't go out of it's way to insult your intelligence. (Mae Young did give birth to a hand however...)
When I watch wrestling, it's not for the backstage vignettes, nor the soap opera storylines. I watch for the story that the performers tell in the ring. It's extremely difficult to relay a feud, and tell a quick easily digestible story in fifteen to forty minutes with a solid beginning, middle and an end that has a satisfying conclusion. The performers job in the ring, is to make the audience believe that these guys are fighting for real. As inane as that sounds, it's true. And it sounds silly but that's what also draws me to watch it. Can these guys make me believe that they truly want to pin the other man even though the finish has been predetermined and entertain me at the same time?
It's not for everyone. It's like the Wire, or Fat Tire. You either get it, or you don't. And if you don't you ridicule that person and make them feel like less of a person because of it. That's right Phil...
Not to mention that these guys wrestle 300 days a year with no off season. The NFL has nine months off, the NBA and NHL have six months. Baseball...who watches baseball still anyway? Seriously have you ever been to a Dodgers game? If I'm not drunk by the 4th, it's a wasted day and I fall asleep. It's fucking boring. We need steroids back in a big way. Anywho...
At the end of the day, a great in ring match to me is more impressive than a 4th quarter comeback, a winning three pointer or Joey Chestnut eating 200 hot dogs in ten minutes. (You've never seen my drunken binges...I can match it...it's not pretty.)
So I guess this blog will be a part tribute to the lost art of professional wrestling...(I mean sports entertainment...yes that'll do), and part ramblings on why it's not cool to watch anymore. (yet I still do)
Oh and I'll bitch about TV shows, movies, and video games. All the stuff that doesn't get me laid basically. You know cause they're aren't enough blogs dedicated to that already...
Professional wrestling to me is no different from watching a crappy movie at the AMC or watching a television show with characters that look like they're straight out of the pages of an Abercrombie ad. (I think I ventured into a gay bar like that once...)
If robots can have balls, I can watch wrestling. I'm looking at you Bay!
It's simple entertainment. Plain and...simple...i like words...
When I was two, my uncle Larry introduced me to colorful and exuberant characters such as the Road Warriors, Ric Flair, Ricky Steamboat and other oily men in tights of Jimmy Crockett Promotions, or as it's better known, the NWA or World Championship Wrestling. I'm not sure why I gravitated towards it, and in retrospect I still don't know why to this day. It was the first athletic contest, ( No I don't call it a sport, nor do I call it fake. Until you take five body slams in a cold, hard as concrete ring, never call it fake) that I was exposed to growing up. After that, my father introduced me to football and basketball, but wrestling was my first true love...of...athletic contests...of sorts...
Being the fortunate individual that I am, I believe I grew up in the pinnacle of the wrestling era. Besides Jimmy Crockett Promotions/NWA/WCW/Mid Atlantic Championship, the Hulk Hogan/Vince McMahon World Wrestling Federation era (I refuse to call it the WWE) was the first major promotion I was drawn to. The characters were fun, clean and non threatening with easy to remember stories of good guy vs bad guy. No shades of grey. Lots of merchandise, and of course Hulk Hogan. Then when I was a teenager, I gravitated towards ECW, or Extreme Championship Wrestling a local niche promotion in Philadelphia that gained a cult like status because of their extremely violent matches, adult storylines, and actually treating the audience like they weren't retarded. In the Northeast region of the country ECW spread like a virus. The WWF and WCW would run shows and have people chanting ECW during their most heated matches. Because of this the WWF and WCW had to up their game, by segueing into the Attitude Era and the NWO respectively to the mainstream public. With competition between the three brands, professional wrestling was in my opinion at it's highest peak aesthetically. There were great matches, amazing in-ring performers, and most importantly adult stories that didn't go out of it's way to insult your intelligence. (Mae Young did give birth to a hand however...)
When I watch wrestling, it's not for the backstage vignettes, nor the soap opera storylines. I watch for the story that the performers tell in the ring. It's extremely difficult to relay a feud, and tell a quick easily digestible story in fifteen to forty minutes with a solid beginning, middle and an end that has a satisfying conclusion. The performers job in the ring, is to make the audience believe that these guys are fighting for real. As inane as that sounds, it's true. And it sounds silly but that's what also draws me to watch it. Can these guys make me believe that they truly want to pin the other man even though the finish has been predetermined and entertain me at the same time?
It's not for everyone. It's like the Wire, or Fat Tire. You either get it, or you don't. And if you don't you ridicule that person and make them feel like less of a person because of it. That's right Phil...
Not to mention that these guys wrestle 300 days a year with no off season. The NFL has nine months off, the NBA and NHL have six months. Baseball...who watches baseball still anyway? Seriously have you ever been to a Dodgers game? If I'm not drunk by the 4th, it's a wasted day and I fall asleep. It's fucking boring. We need steroids back in a big way. Anywho...
At the end of the day, a great in ring match to me is more impressive than a 4th quarter comeback, a winning three pointer or Joey Chestnut eating 200 hot dogs in ten minutes. (You've never seen my drunken binges...I can match it...it's not pretty.)
So I guess this blog will be a part tribute to the lost art of professional wrestling...(I mean sports entertainment...yes that'll do), and part ramblings on why it's not cool to watch anymore. (yet I still do)
Oh and I'll bitch about TV shows, movies, and video games. All the stuff that doesn't get me laid basically. You know cause they're aren't enough blogs dedicated to that already...
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